CW: This post contains detail of a real-life situation where boundaries were crossed, a discussion about consent, and examples of gaslighting. This is the kind of post I never want to write. I want to relay incredibly passionate, beautiful, orgasmic and positive stories of pleasure and adventure for people to feast upon. But not all stories, experiences, are like that; some are difficult, and they […]
Sweat
Please note: this is a work of fiction and a fantasy scenario; please don’t approach me in the gym. As I lift my arms up above my head, I feel a stream of cool sweat trickling down the nape of my neck, finding a cleft in my skin in which to swim lower between my shoulder blades, the small of my back, and into the […]
Nocturnal; bareback in the dark
The birdsong outside woke me up before the feel of his hard dick pressing against my back. I was briefly confused; why was there a bird calling outside in the dead of night? I lifted my head briefly to check and yes, it was still dark. The only source of light was seeping from underneath the bathroom door, the light we’d forgotten to turn off […]
The Boss
“I’ve always thought your tits would be great to fuck” His breath is hot in my ear as he whispers this; hot with North London beer, fags, and arrogance. I shouldn’t let him talk to me this way, seeing as he’s my boss (actually the boss of my boss’ boss). Even though we’re off the clock in this stifling, cramped pub at the leaving party […]
Notes On Intimacy
One day, several years ago, we had sex for the last time. We didn’t know at the time it was going to be the last: it may seem that a quickie on the sofa was an unworthy ending, but actually, that’s very us. They had walked into the room while I was lying on my stomach on the sofa, typing or reading something I can’t […]
Blank Space: embracing being agender
It was feminism that did it. Feminism and my own redundant reproductive organs; both some misplaced indicators of womanhood that I did not, could not, connect with. It was that feeling that other people have described before, more eloquently than me, of feeling wrong, of feeling you’re doing something wrong, acting wrong, failing at being what you appear to be. I appeared to be a […]
Splash; The Next Chapter
Remember when I went to that sex club: the one where I sat nude in a hot tub, as bait; the one where I let a group of strangers use my body for their own pleasure; the one where I came hard, sitting on the edge, as a guy sucked on my clit? That actually wasn’t the end of the story. Soon after my sopping […]
Reflecting; sex, my mirror, and me
Hey, mirror, mirror, there on the wall, who has the prettiest cunt of all? If you don’t answer that it’s mine, while my thighs are spread before you and my pink lips are glimmering in your eye, I’ll just have to try harder. Make you look, harder. I like it when it’s just us. When I’m kneeling in front of you, my knees hard against the […]
Shameless
I saw, and then instantly lost, a quote online yesterday: “We have to teach women and girls to not feel shame”. I am a person who doesn’t feel a lot of shame, despite finding myself in humiliating or ridiculous situations with shameful regularity, and that quote made me consider why, and how, I got to this point of blissful indifference. If I was the kind […]
One Year
CW: binge eating disorder, body dysmorphia Exactly one year ago today, you decided you wanted to get better. How you came to that decision is still a mystery to you. There was a boredom, a tiredness, of being unwell. Of binging and feeling sick and feeling shit and not being able to move without pain and crying and getting into debt and apologising to and […]