There’s a film which some people (me) like to watch at Christmas called The Holiday. It’s a terrible film, which includes a character who is both unable to cry and has been gaslighted by her ex into believing she’s bad at sex. It includes an exchange about foreplay being overrated; it’s trash. But, it’s festive trash. Anyway, the opening scene of the film involves Kate […]
Romance
Notes On Intimacy
One day, several years ago, we had sex for the last time. We didn’t know at the time it was going to be the last: it may seem that a quickie on the sofa was an unworthy ending, but actually, that’s very us. They had walked into the room while I was lying on my stomach on the sofa, typing or reading something I can’t […]
Dating / Polyamory
Swiping Right: Who I Date
The continual swipe left is giving me RSI. One after the other, faces rush past, faces that don’t seize or intrigue or attract me. They appear like ghosts; fleeting and morbid. The ghosts of future bad choices, of heartbreak, of misplaced humour, and of inevitable ghosting. Each and every one makes me feel a mixture of guilt and self-disgust, with a sprinkle of hope that […]
Audio Porn / Erotica / Kinks / Submission
Use Me
Listen as audio You seem stressed today, darling. A little frazzled around the edges, as though you’re tired of everything and everyone. What do you need? I know, how about you fuck my throat until it’s raw? I’ll kneel down here in front of you, my hands clasped behind my back, and you can use my mouth however you wish. That’s it, grab my hair; […]
Dating / Polyamory
My Polyamory Isn’t Weird
Recently at a party (a party where I wasn’t present, perhaps crucially) one friend told another how weird they find my relationship. Specifically weird was how I’m friends with my partner’s girlfriend*. Even more specific still, the friend found it weird how we sat next to each other, chatting and laughing, at a recent gathering for my partner’s birthday. They found it weird that we […]
Dating
The Ick
“What you up to?” There is no sentence that dries me out more than this one. It’s an instant ick. Before you asked this question, you could have been the most devastatingly, deliciously sexy person I’d ever met. I could have been panting for your touch, dripping with the anticipation of your lips meeting mine, my nipples might have hardened at the mere mention of […]
Dating
The Good, The Bad, and The Smug
I don’t fancy the guy who’s giving me head. The head is OK, the guy is OK, but I’m lying here, thighs spread, and my mind is gently drifting away. I’m not questioning why I don’t fancy him, there’s no panic or insecurity; I’m calm in my indifference. It’s like coming down in the morning and dutifully cooking breakfast, even though you’re not hungry. The […]
Body Matters
A letter to the guy who dumped me for being fat
Hello there, I hope you’re well! I’m writing this to prevent me from screaming it down the phone at you. So firstly, you’re welcome. Secondly, fuck you. … On our first date there was a moment; one of those little moments that people like me write about in fiction about love and romance and perfect, tempestuous relationships that are tested but always come back from […]