Planning My First Orgasm of 2023

Yes, yes, New Years is a somewhat benign and meaningless measure of time passing slowly as we all contemplate our shortcomings and regrets and weight while the Earth literally burns around us and we all trudge towards an inevitable death brought about by age, avoidable disease, or poverty. But, but, I feel my first orgasm of the new year needs to be a little special. 

Why? Because it’s an orgasm you can make a bit of an event of. And yes, all orgasms are a reason for celebration, a little party in your bits, however sometimes you get so bogged down in the inanities of life and the aforementioned slow trudge towards death that you can become complacent. Cumming can become mundane, perfunctory even. This is not the time to be telling me I’m not doing them right, shush.  

So, we’re going to make a show of this one: I’m going to plan. 

It will be an orgasm that I have on my own, encouraged by my own fingers or a fun toy (or two). I have a hook-up planned for the 4th January but, frankly, I don’t want to wait that long to cum, so a wank it is. But that doesn’t detract from it; my imagination and touch and self-pleasure can be just as, if not more in some cases, intoxicating as someone else bringing me to climax. While wanking, I can place myself in whatever horny, depraved situation I want to in my head. I can be as comfy as I like because I’m not contorting my body into a visually pleasing position for someone else’s benefit. I know exactly, to the square millimetre, where all my erogenous points are; I know my clit and vulva and cunt better than anyone else and I damn well know how to make it feel good. You want to know how to pleasure me? Watch me wank. 

I have recently re-discovered how fun edging yourself is. Real life is a very silly, stupid thing sometimes and I’ll admit, my wanks have been rushed. I’ve either been pushed to the edge by a sext, or having a quickie on the sofa between work meetings, or needing to cum to help me sleep, or felt like having a wank was a thing I should do rather than want to do, and I’ve been hasty. It’s sometimes really fucking hot having that urge to cum *right now* and furiously mashing your clit until you release, but when I’m making time for it, I want to take my time. For my first orgasm of 2023, I’ll be patient and lazy and edging myself for as long as I can. 

I want my first climax to be sensational, I want to feel it in my toes, I want to cry out so I’m going to use toys. My current favourite vibrator is a long, purple, clit vibe with a little nub on the end (sorry, I have no clue what the technical term is and I really like the word nub). When you glide the nub over yours it kind of feels like a fingertip. I like pressure on my clit; it’s small and neat and not as sensitive as others and I need it touched. I enjoy my wand but the area of vibration is sometimes too broad and my clit is crying out to be paid direct attention to. The toy that makes me cum the hardest is my rabbit. I can’t cum through penetration alone (again, tell me I’ve been doing it wrong/not hard the right dick and you can leave) however I can assure you it feels incredible all the same. My arse also appreciates being filled. I’ve double-penetrated myself with dildos before but to be honest it’s a bit of a hassle and I have short arms. Therefore butt plugs are perfect, especially one on the larger side. Penetration + clit stimulation + butt plug is my nirvana. 

I haven’t watched porn in a really long time. I’ve regularly been turned on by photos and videos people have sent me or that I’ve seen on Twitter, but professional porn videos haven’t been doing it for me lately. That’s not to say there isn’t some fantastic, feminist porn being created at the moment that you should go and watch: my favourite is Bellesa. But audio porn and the written word is what really inspires me, orgasmically, and it’s because I like putting myself into the scenario. Watching other people go at it is all very well and good, but I’m an attention-seeker and I want to be involved. Letting your imagination take the lead is the hottest thing. Second hottest is hearing other people’s imaginations about you, FYI. I’ll be reading one of my favourite blogs, erotica sites, or perhaps even my own writing, because there’s quite a lot of me in that already. 

I’ll be in bed, because I’m going to be patient and lazy and comfy. Playing will be music that really gets me going aurally, but quietly so that it doesn’t distract me from playing with myself. I’ll have the door closed so the cat can’t come in. I’ll be completely naked and have the covers off so I can see and touch myself all over. I’ll be making as much noise as I want to because that’s sensationally horny. I’ll occasionally pause and take photos of myself looking like a complete slut (maybe a short video too). 

And I’m going to cum so hard 2023 won’t know what’s hit it.

A black and white photo of a rabbit vibrator. You can see the moisture in the light, as though it's been used.

One thought on “Planning My First Orgasm of 2023

  1. If your aim was also to make me want to cum after reading and imagining you naked in bed. Being sexy and slutty covering all basses of desired pleasures from your most intimate places. Yes I do want to watch how you instinctively know when and where to play on your biggest weaknesses and listen to you being as loud and vocal as you want. I want your orgasm to the that I crave to watch and hear when am in need which is now but am edging thinking about you and how explosive you can make me climax for you just being you xx

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